batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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