And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize