Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
