Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I hope mine doesn't look like that
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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