I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
