I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
