that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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