Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
