To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
