I wanna passion pit in your ass
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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