Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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