So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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