Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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