I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
