in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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