Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
