im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
