I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
