Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
