He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize