Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
