your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
