They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
