i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
