if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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