too bad you live with your parents still
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
