Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
