I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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