If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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