I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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