She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
