You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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