we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
