how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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