i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
