Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
