May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
