So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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