Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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