You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize