goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
