You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
