we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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