Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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