EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize