3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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