Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
