butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
