Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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