Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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