Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
