How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You left your phone here
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