I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
