plz talk dirty to me
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
