Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
