Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
