I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
