STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ladies don't puke and tell
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
