My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
